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About Deviant Premium Member RalfMaximus50/Male/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 4 Years
19 Month Premium Membership
Statistics 451 Deviations 13,609 Comments 59,610 Pageviews

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Doctors fled screaming in terror from a delivery room in a Florida hospital.  The lights dimmed, flickered, as crashing thunder shook the building.  My first words upon emerging from mom were reportedly, "I'm not wearing any pants!"

A few years later the hospital burned to the ground (that's true!).  One can only speculate for the reasons, or why they salted the smoking ruins and sprayed it down with holy water from hovering helicopters.

But we all know the truth, don't we?

Oh, the things I've seen in my 50 years.  The draining of the Atlantic Ocean to retrieve the wreck of the Titanic, jet-packs for dogs, sugar-free jello pudding, the election of Sean Connery to the office of the American Presidency, the marriage of Madonna and Justin Bieber, the adoption of Klingon as the international language of peace, the American War on Plush Toys and the rise of the Build-A-Bear rebel resistance... these things are forever burned in my memory.

What will the next 50 years bring?  Enlighten me in comments, please.

deviantID

RalfMaximus's Profile Picture
*RalfMaximus
49% Evil Is Not Half Bad
United States
Current Residence: Atlanta, GA

ID Created by the insanely talented `kangel, view fullsize here.

Previous ID here, by *UndineCG. ♥
Interests

Which of these things is the LEAST sexy? 

31%
19 deviants said Ducklips.
23%
14 deviants said Being slathered in milk/cream/honey/other food products.
23%
14 deviants said Disrespect.
8%
5 deviants said Code phrases for sex such as "restocking the meat department".
7%
4 deviants said Storing somebody's name as "Cockmonaut" in a mobile phone.
5%
3 deviants said Pointy irresponsible shoes worn in bed.
3%
2 deviants said Naked people on the beach covered in sand.
0%
No deviants said A different pet peeve...

Comments


Add a Comment:
 
:iconkissthesunrise:
Happy Birthday!! :party:
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconrafael-domination:
*Rafael-Domination 5 days ago  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Happy Birthday to you!
I present you a gnu!
It roars like a T-Rex,
And it eats like one too!
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconmemnalar:
Happy Birthday, you man-beast.
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconrichardleach:
Mood: Sociable *RichardLeach May 3, 2013  Professional Traditional Artist
Thanks for the watch :)
Reply
:iconpickled-poppy:
*Pickled-Poppy Apr 24, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you so much for the favourite darling person.
:hug:
Reply
:iconlostkudzu:
~LostKudzu Apr 20, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks for the Watch!
Reply
:iconainasart:
=AinasArt Apr 19, 2013  Professional General Artist
I wouldn't trip over that cord if I were you.
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconmemnalar:
I think I figured out where they have Walt.
[link]
Reply
(1 Reply) (1 Reply)
:iconmemnalar:
Hit spacebar to change channels. [link]
Reply
(1 Reply)
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