literature

Rejection Letter

Deviation Actions

RalfMaximus's avatar
By
Published:
2.1K Views

Literature Text

To whom it May Concern:

Thank you for the kind submission of your:

  [ ] novel / play / story / poem entitled _____________________________
  [ ] marriage proposal
  [ ] restraining order
  [ ] semen sample
  [ ] General Purpose Rejection Letter
  [ ] Other (unspecified, because we did not review the materials)

While this work clearly represents the product of careful thought, planning, and hard work, we regret that we are unable to make use of it at this time for the following reason(s):

  [ ] It does not suit the format / scope / ethics of our current business model
  [ ] It violates several international pornography laws
  [ ] Contains multiple catastrophic flaws in concept and/or execution
  [ ] The review process was interrupted by explosive rectal hemorrhaging
  [ ] Other (attach additional pages as necessary): ________________________

There is always the possibility that our needs and schedule may change, and thus you may wish to re-submit this material in the future.  Please do so:

  [ ] When we stop laughing
  [ ] No sooner than 180 days from today
  [ ] After proof of sobriety is demonstrated
  [ ] When you acquire writing and/or cognitive skills
  [ ] The day after we change our format and/or charter to “Complete Shit”
  [ ] Upon removal of all sexually explicit depictions of copyrighted Disney characters

Even though we are not able to make use of it at this time,  here are some other organizations that might be interested in reviewing your work:

  [ ] The United States Department of Homeland Security
  [ ] International Auto-Erotic Asphyxiation Association
  [ ] Monthly Newsletter of the Ku Klux Klan
  [ ] Tiger Beat Magazine

Once again, thank you for thinking of us.  We hope the return favor will not be required any time in the foreseeable future.

Sincerely,

Ralf M. Maximus
If somebody ever actually uses this for a marriage proposal, please cc: me plskthx.
© 2008 - 2024 RalfMaximus
Comments28
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
To whom it May Concern:

Thank you for the kind submission of your:

[ ] novel / play / story / poem entitled _____________________________
[ ] marriage proposal
[ ] restraining order
[ ] semen sample
[X] General Purpose Rejection Letter
[ ] Other (unspecified, because we did not review the materials)

While this work clearly represents the product of careful thought, planning, and hard work, we regret that we are unable to make use of it at this time for the following reason(s):

[ ] It does not suit the format / scope / ethics of our current business model
[ ] It violates several international pornography laws
[ ] Contains multiple catastrophic flaws in concept and/or execution
[ ] The review process was interrupted by explosive rectal hemorrhaging
[X] Other (attach additional pages as necessary): It's too General-Purpose-y for our tastes.

There is always the possibility that our needs and schedule may change, and thus you may wish to re-submit this material in the future. Please do so:

[X] When we stop laughing
[ ] No sooner than 180 days from today
[ ] After proof of sobriety is demonstrated
[ ] When you acquire writing and/or cognitive skills
[ ] The day after we change our format and/or charter to “Complete Shit”
[ ] Upon removal of all sexually explicit depictions of copyrighted Disney characters

Even though we are not able to make use of it at this time, here are some other organizations that might be interested in reviewing your work:

[ ] The United States Department of Homeland Security
[ ] International Auto-Erotic Asphyxiation Association
[ ] Monthly Newsletter of the Ku Klux Klan
[ ] Tiger Beat Magazine
[ ] Anywhere (other than dA) on the internet where people submit things, really.

Once again, thank you for thinking of us. We hope the return favor will not be required any time in the foreseeable future.

Sincerely,

Gleicheniaceae