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Deviation Actions
1414: Finally received notification of favorable weather conditions for execution of GLORIOUS LAWNBOY.
1425: Assembled Mechanized Infantry forces on periphery of Combat Theater 1 (front portion of Maximus HQ). Equipment included one (1) Craftsman 6.6hp manually propelled rotary death-scythe and various hand weapons. Initial sortie to be conducted by decorated combat officer R.Maximus and support engineer M.Maximus.
1427: Upon ignition sequence of main engine on death-scythe noted looseness of refilling lid on ventral non-gelatinized napalm holding tank. Did not anticipate immediate failure; decided to monitor its condition.
1428: Conducted stealth attack on Combat Theater 1. Ground troops did not know what hit them.
1450: Upon clearing the area of hostile forces, stopped for hydration.
1455: Assembled Mechanized Infantry on periphery of Combat Theater 2 (rear portion of Maximus HQ).
1500 (est): Enemy snipers managed a direct blow to ventral non-gelatinized napalm storage tank, causing refill-lid to ricochet beneath rotary death-scythe. Retreat to safe zone was ordered, and support engineer M.Maximus consulted as to feasibility of field repairs.
1510: Support engineer devised temporary replacement cap from aluminum foil and rubber bands.
1511: Catching the enemy by surprise via rapid return to battlefield, much destruction visited upon ground troops and insurgent brambles and Ivy. Victory was surely in sight!
1515 (est): Enemy detonated an IEHD (Improvised Extra-Heavy Device) beneath death-scythe resulting in shrapnel and superficial injuries to R.Maximus. While further combat operations were theoretically possible, due to the imbalance of bent blade it was determined tactical retreat to be the most prudent option.
SUMMARY & RECOMMENDATION: Mission incomplete. Insurgency will surely grow and spread if not addressed quickly, especially in the shadow of perceived humiliating defeat. Recommend tactical nuclear strike from orbit.
H-Hewwo?
Hello DeviantArt. It's been awhile. I used to spend so much time here once upon a time but not so much anymore. Lots of reasons, but I guess the biggest being I started disliking the look/feel of dA a few years back and never really got the hang of the massive UI overhaul. Everything is harder to use now, non-intuitive, and (seems to me) geared more for the visual arts than text. Tablets & phones now more than desktop. All the tiles! It's like a failed Windows Metro experience from 2017. But enough bitching. I dropped in to say HI and also see if anyone still follows me here, and to exchange contact info if you like. My instinct is that I'm not gonna check in here much anymore and if my account were to suddenly whiff away I'd lose permanent contact with y'all. So how about it? Anyone wanna say HI back? Or you can always find me at ralfmaximus.com. Love to hear from ya!
Re: Subscriptions
Apparently dA is now offering 'subscription' content where Core members can charge a fee to view their premium content. So, question: what's the maximum somebody can charge for a subscription? Like, can I set a fee of $10,000? Asking for a friend.
So, Eclipse
The new format fails ADA compliance miserably. That's all I'm saying about it for now.
Top 10: Infinity Gauntlet Alternatives
10. The Infinity Hula Hoop
9. The Infinity Camry
8. The Infinity Tuba
7. The Infinity Spatula
6. The Infinity Slide Whistle
5. The Infinity Clown Wig
4. The Infinity Gimp Suit
3. The Infinity Tape Worm
2. The Infinity Cum Sock
1. The Infinity Butt Plug
© 2013 - 2024 RalfMaximus
Comments21
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I'll recommend support engineer M.Maximus for accommodation. Good job repairing the weapon on the battlefield under enemy fire.
Congratulations soldier, you successfully defended Maximus HQ. Stay vigilant fighting the enemy.
Request for Nuke strike denied. Request will be reassessed after repairs and report from next strike.
That is all Commander. Carry on.
Brig. Gen. XX
Congratulations soldier, you successfully defended Maximus HQ. Stay vigilant fighting the enemy.
Request for Nuke strike denied. Request will be reassessed after repairs and report from next strike.
That is all Commander. Carry on.
Brig. Gen. XX